Stop to think about what's important to you...

There are certain moments, days, weeks and months that tend to leave the human spirit empty. I wouldn't say that I am experiencing one of those time periods, but I feel that something is amiss. Throughout my life, I have been the optimist in every group of which I have been a part. I have always been able to find positives in individuals when others could not. I had always prided myself on treating everyone consistently and with respect.

Unfortunately, in recent months, I find that I am too tired and exhausted to do anything beyond drag myself from one place to the next. For many small business owners this is a common feeling, I am sure. However, I do not own my own business. I am just a common guy who works long and hard to sustain my family. I know that there are countless others out there who feel similarly to the way I feel. So does that mean that I should just accept it?

Last Sunday when I was at church, a lady from a few rows behind me in Sunday School mentioned that her newly adopted motto is: "Learn to accept, don't expect!" For some reason, this set me off. Now, of course, I understand that she meant it is better to give service to others and respect them regardless of their social, religious, political, behavioral and mental isms than to be closed-off and judgmental. But the statement goes far beyond that.

In college, I belonged to a fraternity. We were known as the "gentlemen on campus." Perhaps some of you have heard of my fraternity: Sigma Chi. Our chapter's motto was: Mediocrity is of the Adversary. Although we weren't all religious guys (note: The Adversary in this case is a reference to the Devil), we did all believe that stagnation is just as bad as digression. If we just accept everything as it is, there will be no reason for us to improve ourselves--because if we disregard all our expectations, we will (necessarily) have to let go of our personal goals. How can we meet and break expectations if we have none? If all we do is accept, we will be facilitating mediocrity, in essence.

I am a firm believer in one's ability to make a difference in the world by making a difference in the lives around one's self. Certain factions of society view large sweeping social programs as the answer. Through study and observation, I have arrived at the conclusion that these factions are made up of idealistic persons with great intentions, but with the wrong tools for the job. Opting to help strangers in some distant locale by sending money and supplies is nice, but it is never as effective as getting out and improving the communities in which we live. Sending millions and millions of dollars to African aids relief is a good thing to do, but it isn't enough. Too many of us, who are warm-hearted and busy, donate money to groups and organizations that are so overly bureaucratized that only 10 cents of every dollar donated gets to Africa. Once it arrives, the totalitarian governments end up keeping it for their own use. The inefficiency is astounding.

The problem, then, is that we convince ourselves that we are good, decent people because we care. We care enough to give donations to aids relief in Africa. Our U.S. government does the same thing; if we give more money to fight for increased standards of living throughout the world, we will prove to ourselves and the world how nice and loving we are. One major draw back to this practice is that we don't actually end up accomplishing anything useful. We just convince ourselves, again, how special we are for caring.

This takes me back to my original thought. I want to be optimistic and caring, but I get drained too quickly from all the rushing back and forth I do from week to week. I don't feel like I have much of a chance to make a difference in my community. I feel like there is only enough time to sign a check and move on to my next appointment. But I know that doing so is ineffective and wasteful.

I love people. I respect everyone out there (with a few exceptions--I won't lie) and I want to make the world a better place. But the only way I can do that is to make a difference in the world around me--not by writing a check and writing my responsibility off to someone else. Beyond that, the only thing left to do is hope. Hope that there are at least one or two people in each community throughout the world who are willing to actually help those around them and not wait for others to do it for them.

Taking just a few minutes to write this has helped me realize that there is hope. Regardless of one's ideology, if we all forget about ourselves and strengthen our communities one act at a time, soon many of the problems that we face as communities, states, nations and a planet will begin turning back.

Please email me with ideas you may have for making a difference in the world around you at: hh_p13@yahoo.com